Vibes: Moody, Perfect Clutter & Daisies

Fashion… clothes… blah blah blah….  I have actually succeeded in creating outfits worth sharing.

I have not succeeded in creating the time and effort it takes to take good pictures.  SOOOOO sorry, but no outfit pictures until I get a tripod.  Excuses excuses, reasons, blah blah.

This is a really lazy random, post, but I felt like contributing something to the world today, (and I can’t finish a paper journal, I’m working on it) so here we are.

Well here I am, since you will likely be closing this in 3….2….1….. oh no!  You’re still here, that means…  Well, I have to do an actual post.  Here are some vibes.  Enjoy be inspired, all that blogger stuff.

P.S.  I am quite frustrated with my theme.  It pretty, 1 picture a column, caveman talk, zzzzz….  huh what?  click  and read description… big picture…  zzz………  (yes, I know these go at the end.  jeez leave me alone, I know what I’m doing, just for that, no caps for you).

 

Very Tavi Gevinson, teenager with personality thing, not the fake, annoying talkative “girls”  (if you can call them that, they’re more like robots, or zombies) who think they should drink coffee in middle school and Do Not Enter Diaries.  I am currently in the process of achieving this moodiness.

Kind of perfect in that messy way.  I can’t figure out how to clutter without making a mess.

 

Abandoned Theme Parks

Hi my little lovelies!

For whatever reason I’ve been hearing the word aesthetic, and since I didn’t know what it meant (gosh, give me a break) I decided to ask Siri, and voila! I’m a little bit smarter.  But it kind of describes my life and the way I live it.  I have these “vibes” after seeing things on Tumblr and movies and blogs (and yes that if how I spend my time) and then I try to live like that.  So usually after Tumblr I sit in my room with sad music on while attempting to paint my nails and make flower crowns and despise people who deserve to be despised.  I let my room be a big unorganized mess, in the way that is organized to me (and no one else) and I lock the doors and watch Netflix instead of cable because I have a very limited selection of channels.  But other times I’ll read and see all these happy people, so I bake cookies and banana bread eat ice cream and pretend to ride a retro bike so I can model clothes (and mock people who give me weird looks when I take pictures).

Behold the deep depths of my mind!  I will not give you the key, (I considered it) because I do not think I would like you poking and prodding around my brain.  You might find something wrong with me.  Something else at least.

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I would love to have dinner alone at this little table with one other person where we could pretend to be classy as the world falls apart around us.  And we can pretend everything is fine, even when it isn’t, because that is just the messed up life we live.  But because no one else in the world thinks I this, I am left pretending.

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These are just watermelon, and they should be insignificant, but they are not, they are beautiful and noticed and that really gets to me (as I am writing this post I realize I can think of  great metaphors off the top of my head).  Something small is often disregarded in this world, so therefore I am often disregarded when someone walks right into me and I automatically say “excuse me,” and they just keep on walking.  And that is when I am noticed by everyone when I stick my tongue out at them, and in my head call them a bunch of not-so-nice words.

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Everyone tries to take all the gorgeous pictures of the Eifel Tower on sunny days and with lots of lights, but I am a dark person as of right now, and quite cruelly all of them are ugly compared to this one.

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I would love to have three feet so I can walk down the street like this and make people stare, but also so I can wear mismatched pastel shoes and call myself creative and original for that very fact.

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If you were a good little reader you would know this is my attempt at all this Tumblr and We Heart It stuff (which to me isn’t quite stuff because I live by it, but for everyone else it is) and I do not know if I have succeeded, but I can live like I have and continue pretending to be a fancy little 7th grader when we all know I am far from the fact.

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I cannot truly live like this because 1) I do not have long hair, 2) I do not live by beautiful bright flowers, and 3) I would not like to cut hearts out my shirt and expose the straps of my underclothes.  But I can admire this and act like one day I will.

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The day I can sit on a dock and take pictures of me taking pictures while waiting for the perfect light without getting bored is the day pigs fall from the sky.  I know how to read, but I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO BE CLICHE!

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I would love to live like a movie and go riding on a merry-go-round in an abandoned theme park, but for now I can settle for going into stores late and riding on the cart like it is a scooter.

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I like to imagine when I sit for 12 hours in the car it will rain and I will see a rainbow.  So to prepare myself for such paralyzing beauty I will play with the hose and the sun, while I pretend to be watering the plants even though we have sprinklers.  HAHA!  No one would believe I voluntarily did extra chores.  That was quite a stupid thought.

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I would absolutely love to live in New York, but with all the violence I keep hearing about on the news, I am not so sure I would ever do that.  I know you are not supposed to let fear control your life, but I will let the possibility of danger and death control it.  Away from those morbid thoughts, I still love the city, and have been there before.

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This is hardly the tacky stuff I try to channel, but in some way it is perfect.

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A lot of people may think I am crazy for loving the black flower above and them loving the colorful flowers here, but it is something with the photography which captures my attention, even though I can not live my life through pictures.  But as I have said many times before I can pretend that I have a movie all about me, and I just happen to carry around paper bags of roses and things.

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If I am on Tumblr it is only necessary that I have a flower crown shown.  It is not just because this is a flower crown that I picked it.  It is because I want a flower crown that I am putting this on here.  I would also love to turn my head away from the camera, like I am camera shy while donning a string of silk things that people pretend grew from the ground.

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For whatever reason I am quite inspired by flowers…  Though I would rather have a single red rose, so many red roses are just fine too.  You know, if someone wants to buy me a bunch of dying things to put in water, I’m not going to be too picky about it.  Though I will be quite literal.

I think I’ve decided to live a very Tumblresque (yes I make words up) picture-perfect life.  And that is not good because Tumblr has unbelievably high expectations, and I am trying to get by with my crazy and messy life, and it is all a little heart breaking.  But I will continue living this way until piece-by-piece my little fairy tale falls apart and I am forced to stop pretending.  But until then I will enjoy living my slightly tacky picture-worthy life and hope it lasts forever.